Under the waterfall

As I stand here by the falls . My tears fall silently upon my heart but cannot be seen.

I’m going to be brutally honest here.

I cry inside with the pain of a mother’s heart that is separated from her children.

I have not seen my son nearly 3 months now and my daughter fleetingly a few weeks ago with my grandson outside on the pavement.

I was excited in many ways that I’d be able to have either of my children come here and come inside and hug from this weekend. Spend some real time together.

But you see that’s not going to happen.

Because I share my home with someone who hasn’t exactly followed the social distancing rules and in turn that means I can’t take the risk. Actually flouted a few times those rules. Don’t get me started on how. The government in its wisdom didn’t consider people like me. So on it goes.

The risk for my kids who won’t now be able to come here and that makes me sad inside. I’m at risk daily and I can accept that. But I can’t accept that my children are so close but feel so far away.

Technology is ok, it has its uses and ya da ya da ya da. Ultimately I’ve learnt that the most important thing for me is to stand in the same room with my family. Nothing else is important. Everything else feels superfluous and meaningless.

So I’m sad inside but also very angry. Angry that people are so selfish and self important and don’t think of others.

I’m angry that the world is right now behaving like a cesspool of hate and people have lost their minds. I’m angry that while I stand here feeling this, the world is behaving like it always has.

People kid themselves with all their self gratuitous statements and trying to be noticed and relevant.

The protests and the violence at a time we are meant to be united disgusts me. The hatred spread through Facebook and other social media’s like a silent virus, branching out and grabbing people along its way.

People victimising and bullying and accusing.

What has the world become? Unity lasted how long? We united because of a disease and then suddenly one police officer changed the world.

The people who have used that moment to gain social media fame and presence disgust me.

The irrelevant models, actors and businesses who exploit it to become someone in a world in turmoil. To behave like parasites using the time to be on stage and feel relevant.

The criminals who loot and commit violence. The people who choose to protest but social distancing becomes irrelevant. No cause is worth that right now. We are supposed to be overcoming something.

I’m tired and worn.

So, as I stand here under the waterfall and my tears fall inside my heart, I know that no one has learnt anything at all.

Martin Luther King and Nelson Mandela are the true speakers. They both believed in peaceful protest and the power of what that could convey.

Everyone else? Missed the message.

No matter what way you want to mix it up or kid yourself. No one really knows what they are doing.

That beautiful image this weekend of a BLM protestors who go in and help a racist. That’s human!! Here’s the story Here


Juliette dress from Wild (has hud)at the Designer Showcase

Marie hair from Knox

Gem eyes  from Amara Beauty

Tropical eyeshadow from A R T E

Oline lipstick from A R T E

Catya bento head from CATWA

Angel shape for the Catya head LizBitz

Lara mesh body Maitreya

Edie  skin in 04 from  Amara beauty

Shot on location at It all starts with a smile

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