I’ve sat here the past half hour staring at a bottle of water on my coffee table. There’s nothing about that bottle of water that’s really captivating or different from any of the other bottles of water out there.
Strangely, I just registered how amazing that bottle of water is. Looking around my apartment I’m staring at different things and realising how magical it is that we have them. Back to the bottle of water.
Have you ever stopped to think that the bottle of water is available to us because someone created plastic/glass bottles? Then the whole process of whatever they do to the water and putting it then into the bottles? I just did.
We take so much for granted around us.
Next time consider that bottle of water and remember how awesome it really is!
I need a good day out in the Tropics somewhere on this planet. Well to be honest a day wouldn’t quite cut it, but maybe 6 months?
Weirdly I would find nothing more wonderful that just a handful of people on a tropical island, just swimming and playing in the sand all day. Barbecues by sunset and long walks within the trees that stretch across the land. Talking, laughing and just being happy with each other. Both family and close friends.
Is it odd I think that I don’t want a good night out with a bunch of people or some concert etc that people are currently looking forward to ? In the last year I have realised that to me its simple things in life are the ones that matter most.
My friend rang me today and asked if I wanted to go out shopping . I declined. To be honest what did I need to shop for? In all seriousness I have learnt that I don’t need a lot of the things I used to buy and I purchased then just out of habit.
Maybe my sense of money is that it can be here today and gone tomorrow, so why am I buying “things” I don’t need or actually really even want.
Im happy with the odd online clothes purchase as I then leave it in a basket, think about it long and hard before I even press the buy button. It allows me to reconsider do I really need that or want it. Usually 8 times out of 10 I remove items from the shopping cart because I realise that I didn’t really want them. I think we are all guilty of shopping without any rationale and just buying things for the heck of it at times.
Today I purchased something I actually did think about and to me is worth it. A book. No not a kindle one, but an actual hard copy real paper one. Old fashioned I know. But I do love a good flip of a page and bending pages down when I come across sections I love.
Funnily it was via a conversation with Drax that I purchased it after he started telling me some of the aspects of the book. Seriously you will have to watch Second Life book club this week as this author is going to be interesting.
I doubt I will have read the entire book by then, but I will be making a good start later today when I relax on my sofa.
Where do I begin!!!! I really don’t know. Other than to say 2021 may also personally for me a bit of a bittersweet year. Already it’s kind of been a sarcastic comedy of sorts.
I touched not so long ago in one of my YouTube coffee blogs that there were issues with my hair. Since Covid hit I noticed a patch of my hair thinning and disappearing. Just at the very time I was accepted as a curly girl ambassador for Boucleme hair products. Incredibly bad timing.
All the hair has disappeared from my arms and legs . All this since lockdown.
Yes I considered it may be due to high stress but today I was seen by a consultant who has examined my records and my scalp etc. Verdict is female pattern baldness.
So it could stay as it is now or gradually get worse. Either way it’s a huge knock to my soul as what is most noticed about me has always been my curly hair.
But, I’m not prepared to give into the internal tears inside me. After all it’s not killing me. It just means one day I may be buzz cutting it all off.
Until then I shall crack on with a smile and learn to accept that I’m still fortunate and need to get a grip. There are damn sight worse things in life.
I still have minge hair, albeit it looks like a ninja head now!
I rather fondly call this my Ted talk. More so as I was in this video expressing a number of thoughts and so only watch if you have the patience to listen. Otherwise I seriously wouldn’t bother.
It’s cathartic to talk and so I do.
I will however be honest I cut out quite a chunk of what I spoke about as after doing so I thought nahhh it’s stuff I don’t need to share. But then I am quite a sharer as that’s what keeps me sane in life.
There are times we all need to share thoughts or moments with just someone. These days due to everything I just find myself sharing in my blog or in my Coffee talks.
Today’s I call the Ted talk because it felt like I was relaying something and well why not. Ted I’m sure won’t mind me using his name.
It’s after midnight and I’ve been beavering away for hours today filming things for the upcoming week.
I’m a little in a corner feeling that I want to do something new and different. I just can’t put my finger on it as to what.
Do you ever get those moments? I also am having a lot of self doubt right now and asking myself many questions about the value of the things I do. Are they worth doing? Am I bored? Am I tired?
I can’t quite say. I just know that my light is dimming and I actually feel very much alone. I did a Ted talk today which I was going to upload tonight. But I froze on the upload button. The overwhelming feeling that I’m just simmering away sometimes makes me want to turn up the heat and see what happens.
For now though I’ll just lay my head to sleep and dream of my next adventure.
It finally is the end of the week and I have to say it went too quick for my liking.
I know I always bleat on about looking forward to the end of the week but at the same token I don’t want life to flash by.
It seriously doesn’t feel like I’m living it and that in itself troubles me. In a blink of an eye time disappears. Then we sit and wonder where it went.
I have a weird feeling in the very pit of my stomach. No it’s not diarrhoea!!
I just feel a little happy and sad at the same time which often means something is soon to happen.
I have a 3rd sense like that and in life when anything major is about to happen I get this deep down feeling of laughter and deep sadness. I could cry but also laugh.
It doesn’t mean anything bad. It just means I sense something is coming.
Frankly hopefully it’s my handsome soul mate on his scooter who will whisk me off to a Maccy D’s dinner and a Netflix film. (I’m being realistic here).
Failing that my bills have been paid by a wonderful benefactor and Jason Bateman is really my boyfriend. Oooo that man is so my current interest right now!!!!
Anyhow check out my outfit. It’s very spring like and has a hud!!!! Just saying.
You can be amongst a giant sea of swimming hustling bustling around you and still feel completely on your own.
Never assume that loneliness is not amongst you. Always reach out to that life and soul of the “party” as they may just be the one that is hiding in their loneliness.
A friend put something similar on their social media and it made me think. I know right. I stopped and thought.
Kidding, I do think often, but it made me see that the lonely person isn’t always the most visible to us . We can never know another persons place they find themselves in.
Be aware that loneliness isn’t always about being alone. It’s about feeling alone. The two are very different.
