Here I am

Here I am

Jazz hands at you!

Really, Jazz hands.

That’s my answer to this week and I’m glad to say the working week is done. I’m like most people a little jaded and tired and desperately seeking.

An end to this life and a start to something . Anything other than this feeling of suffocation and sense of loss.

It’s the weirdest feeling cycle I’m going through and I’m pretty sure many others are too.

Last night we hear here in the U.K. we have 3 more weeks of lockdown. Then they clearly review it again.

I get that because frankly it’s a truly serious set of circumstances we are all in.

But my heart gets heavy as time is passing and it doesn’t feel like there is a solution as yet.

It’s easy to rollercoaster emotion from jovial light heartedness then to a deep sense of loss in the pit of the stomach. But not sure on pinpointing what that feeling of loss is.

I meant that sounds pretty dramatic doesn’t it?

But that is the only way I can describe it.

It’s just a word to describe the sense of feeling.

COVID-19 is what it’s called and we still don’t really have any answers or solutions.

Or if there are any, no one is telling us.

I foolishly watched the film Contagion the other night. What was incredibly spooky is it mirrored all of what we are experiencing right now. Is it coincidence or the powers of the universe that in 2011 when this film was released, that we could have learnt something from then? Who knows.

I’ll wake up tomorrow with a different mindset. Because that’s how I resolve most things that trouble me.

I swear I’m becoming Jekyll and Hyde. I mean why not. I’m already Harriet, Thelma, Beverley and Marika.

And no I don’t plan to wear formal outfits to the farm.

Only in virtual worlds!

Credits:-

Ronja latex bodysuit from Kimbra at the Designer Showcase

Reflectice eyes  from Amara Beauty

Charlotte hair from Analog Dog

Gloss Lipstick from A R T E

Glam on eyeshadow from A R T E

Catya bento head from CATWA

Angel shape for the Catya head LizBitz

Lara mesh body Maitreya

Nora BOM skin from  Amara Beauty

Shot on location at Luanes World

Face Off

Face Off

Some days it can hit you. Those feelings that you bury.

Mine hit me today whilst sitting in a Social security Benefits training session.

There I was in the moment and there it was. The feelings. Then they went.

But as I came home they returned like nimrod lightening. (Yeah I made that lightening description up).

Like a bolt searing inside me. Tearing my soul and that temptation to just once more. Have it again.

The comfort feeling to be satiated.

Then…….

I found some in the cupboard. A whole bar of fruit and nut chocolate.

Hallelujah!!!!

Credits:-

Paulie outfit from Legendaire (with hud )at the Designer showcase

Harvest Moon nails from Cazimi at the Designer Showcase

Eldora bento rings from Avada at the Designer Showcase

Gem eyes  from Amara Beauty

Face animations courtesy of Vista Animations

Blossom eyeshadow from A R T E

Gloss lipstick from A R T E

Francesca hair from Rama Salon

Catya bento head from CATWA

Angel shape for the Catya head LizBitz

Lara mesh body Maitreya

Edie  skin in 04 from  Amara Beauty

Shot on location at Fox Road

Naming ceremony of SoapyWater and ThunderClap

Naming ceremony of SoapyWater and ThunderClap

Today is the naming ceremony of Beverley as she transcends into the next stage of her life adventure into calm and chakra cleansing. Join her along this journey. Releasing all inner body energies. Releasing……

Video:-

Credits:-

Victorias Fantasy outfit from ::Smexy::

Radiance eyes from A R T E

Arwen Eyeshadow from A R T E

Suffer well hair from Magika

Bea lipstick from A R T E

Lara mesh body Maitreya

Genus baby bento head from GENUS

Stonehenge from Delacruz Technologies

I’m a sandwich short of a picnic!

I’m a sandwich short of a picnic!

Do you ever get those days that everything runs like a overwound clock and the ticking just gets louder and louder. Then suddenly the alarm goes off?

That was me all day today. Work was absolutely manic. Seriously I didn’t stop for most of the day talking to lord knows how many people.

Despite my banging headache I have to say I loved it.

Do you think that’s nuts?

I seriously have learnt one thing about myself that makes me think I’m a sandwich short of a picnic. That I thrive on stress or rather pressure.

I am one of those people that the more pressured I get the more I give. It’s like I’m competing with myself in a race and whoever wins the other gets to congratulate.

Then when my day ends at 4pm, I suddenly sink like a deflating balloon into my sofa and feel exceptionally positive.

What on Earth is that about?

I’ve decided I’m definitely odd.

A few people often say to me they can’t work out how I can work a full time job, run a home, blog daily and run a YouTube channel consistently. I’m a very all or nothing kind of person.

Here’s the secret. I’d be completely stressed if I didn’t. I need to keep busy and it’s when I don’t, that’s when real stress takes over.

Maybe that’s OCD, or maybe I am nuts. Either way it’s who I am.

What makes you tick and relieves life stress?

Do you find your OCD about anything?

Credits:-

Denim Overall from Blueberry

Tank top from Blueberry as part of the group gift

Gem eyes  from Amara Beauty

Glam on eyeshadow from A R T E

Vera hair from EMO-tions

Sweet gloss lipstick from A R T E

Catya bento head from CATWA

Angel shape for the Catya head LizBitz

Lara mesh body Maitreya

Time to feel the moment

Time to feel the moment

Today is weirdly unseasonably milder than normal. Double digit figures.

Usually this time of year we are basking in cold and it’s scarves at the ready, gloves and coats.

Well it’s mid November and I still haven’t taken my winter coat out of its summer mothballs.

I may as well take the opportunity to enjoy this sunshine before it all disappears and winter hits like a ton of bricks.

Have a good day where you are and enjoy the moment.

Credits:-

Tallena dress from La Perla at the Designer Showcase

Gomez white run shoes from Bleich at the .equal10 Event

Tanita hair from Opale at the .equal10 Event

Female Bento modelling pose from SEmotion at the .equal10 Event

Gem eyes  from Amara Beauty

Blossom eyeshadow from A R T E

Oline lipstick from A R T E

Catya bento head from CATWA

Angel shape for the Catya head LizBitz

Lara mesh body Maitreya

Edie  skin in 04 from  Amara Beauty

Shot on location at Baja Tides

Lets hit the road

Lets hit the road

I have decided I am going on a tour of the highway and will be back in the morning.

If I find a hitchhiker along  the way, I will let you know.

Good night and may the wheels keep spinning even when the petrol runs out.

Credits:-

Avianna outfit from [PRISM] at the Designer Showcase

Gem eyes  from Amara Beauty

Blossom eyeshadow from A R T E

Sweetgloss lipstick from A R T E

Genesis hair from Stealthic

Catya bento head from CATWA

Angel shape for the Catya head LizBitz

Lara mesh body Maitreya

Edie  skin in 04 from  Amara Beauty

Shot on location at Motorheadz cafe

Secret Agent Harriet Parker

Secret Agent Harriet Parker

Harriet goes on a mission to find Bryn Oh. The artist formerly known as Bryn Oh.

Video:-

Credits:-

Dark magic outfit from D.E. Boutique at the Designer Showcase

May replica sunglasses from Haysuriza at the Designer Showcase

Paradox hair from Stealthic

Kimberley bento head from CATWA

Evie shape for the CATWA Kimberley head LizBitz

Lara mesh body Maitreya

Edie  skin  in tone 3 Amara Beauty

Shot on location at Bryn Oh’s Catching Feathers

Lets fly

Lets fly

Somehow this image isn’t quite what is happening.

I mean here today in reality, its raining for starters. Wearing a babydoll dress would not  be convenient and the other not happening thing is the leap into the air.

I mean in my head Im leaping. Many reasons for that but not telling.

The reality is I am sat on said PC chair typing this and wishing that I was walking along a beautiful coastal beach with sand between my toes and the sun on my skin.

Its the end of the weekend and none of that happened. Am I disappointed? Hell yes!

Lets rewind back to Friday and start again shall we?

Credits:-

Blush babydoll from 1 Hundred now at the Designer Showcase

Tropical nails from Cazim at the Designer Showcase

Gem eyes  from Amara Beauty

Blossom eyeshadow from A R T E

Oline lipstick from A R T E

Reiley hair from [elikatira]

Bento pose from Happy Dispatch

Catya bento head from CATWA

Angel shape for the Catya head LizBitz

Lara mesh body Maitreya

Edie  skin in 04 from  Amara Beauty

Shot on location at Baja Cove

More drugs

More drugs

Yesterday I saw the doctor and it was pretty intense and she was brilliant.

Basically I’ve come away with more tests and a referral to a rheumatoid specialist. Potentially they need to rule out that they haven’t labelled me with Fibro when I could have something else going on.

Ive been given a huge drug change which after looking at the side effects potential scares the holy crap out of me.

Most people know I don’t like taking medication.

I have a strong belief that you may help one condition but then create another because of side effects.

So I’m a little daunted by a 60 mg dose of Duloxetine. It’s a huge jump from what I’m taking now and one of the side effects, SWEATING!!! Oh good god. I think I’ll hold off a few days at any rate. I need to get one drug out my system as having both in could lead to serotonin syndrome.

Yeah don’t ask !

Remind me why I’m doing this again?

Video below of the HUD’s!!!

Video:-

Credits:-

Lux’Leather pants from Bijou

Pip top from Bijou

Garden of Roses necklace and bracelets from ::OOPS!:: at the Dubai Event

Borealis eyes from A R T E at the SOS 2018

Fighting dance bento pose from BodyLanguage

Blossom eyeshadow from A R T E

Sweet gloss lipstick from A R T E

Yayoi  hair from Argrace

Catya bento head from CATWA

Angel shape for the Catya head LizBitz

Lara mesh body Maitreya

Edie  skin in 04 from  Amara Beauty

L’Oreal the cat is fat

L’Oreal the cat is fat

Its another catch up with Harrier Parker . Poor old L’Oreal will have to go to the vet. She is just one chubster of a cat! Video below….

Video:-

Credits:-

Island Girl dress from Entice at the Saturday Sale

Soft matte lipstick  from A R T E

Night out eyeshadow from A R T E

Paradox hair from Stealthic

Kimberley bento head from CATWA

Evie shape for the CATWA Kimberley head LizBitz

Lara mesh body Maitreya

Edie  skin  in tone 3 Amara Beauty

Isabelle vanity table from What Next

Chubby cat I purchased in Fifty Linden Fridays from Jian