There isn’t any! Sun that is. Well it’s slowly arriving.
Recently I decided to pay for Tinder 1 month access. Just so for once I could see who actually liked me. If anyone at all.
Well there is a huge list I won’t lie. I’m currently drawing crowds to my profile.
Crowds of no matches to be honest. A few have been masterful scammers. They all work on oil rigs offshore or are military and unfortunately their spouses dead and they’re looking for mama. Sugar mama!!! All ask if you have Kik or what’s app straight at the bat.
All want to know what work you do or if you have a son, does he live with you.
Well I’m bantering away and I’m a stock market broker and own my own businesses and retired at 42!
Sugar mama I am not. The most they’ll get from me is a cuppa tea and a sandwich.
At my age the search for love is a rather bumpy road to travel.
If only in reality I had this look and could run around wearing such an outfit. If only.
Reality can be harsh when we look at ourselves in the mirror and see ourselves. My reality certainly this morning has me looking like the rainbow Good Year blimp. ie I’m wearing this rainbow striped nightie and I’m far from lithe and youthful.
Still, despite that fact I’m ok with my reality. It may cause me angst at times because nothing is perfect, but at least I’m rest assured that I’m the only me.
Now being a me, is certainly unable to be replicated and makes me an individual. I’m good with that.
We should all be good with that. No matter how we look we are all amazing individuals that enrich this planet with our mark of existence.
Are you ready? It’s nearly the weekend and another week we can close the door on and get ready to enjoy.
I’m not going anywhere as such but am tempted to make myself over and just see if I remember how to put that makeup on and get sassy.
Now me and sassy have been apart quite a while so I have no major expectations of the level of sassy I can achieve. But may as well give it a go. Failing that pjs and Netflix may be the choice.
I am actually positive I may step outside this weekend and see some life. Maybe walk around lakes and lay in the sun (if there is any) and read a good book. Crowds depending. Always the people. In reflection maybe not. I’ll lay on my balcony instead.
What are your plans? Going out into the world or going out virtually?
Where do I begin!!!! I really don’t know. Other than to say 2021 may also personally for me a bit of a bittersweet year. Already it’s kind of been a sarcastic comedy of sorts.
I touched not so long ago in one of my YouTube coffee blogs that there were issues with my hair. Since Covid hit I noticed a patch of my hair thinning and disappearing. Just at the very time I was accepted as a curly girl ambassador for Boucleme hair products. Incredibly bad timing.
All the hair has disappeared from my arms and legs . All this since lockdown.
Yes I considered it may be due to high stress but today I was seen by a consultant who has examined my records and my scalp etc. Verdict is female pattern baldness.
So it could stay as it is now or gradually get worse. Either way it’s a huge knock to my soul as what is most noticed about me has always been my curly hair.
But, I’m not prepared to give into the internal tears inside me. After all it’s not killing me. It just means one day I may be buzz cutting it all off.
Until then I shall crack on with a smile and learn to accept that I’m still fortunate and need to get a grip. There are damn sight worse things in life.
I still have minge hair, albeit it looks like a ninja head now!
I rather fondly call this my Ted talk. More so as I was in this video expressing a number of thoughts and so only watch if you have the patience to listen. Otherwise I seriously wouldn’t bother.
It’s cathartic to talk and so I do.
I will however be honest I cut out quite a chunk of what I spoke about as after doing so I thought nahhh it’s stuff I don’t need to share. But then I am quite a sharer as that’s what keeps me sane in life.
There are times we all need to share thoughts or moments with just someone. These days due to everything I just find myself sharing in my blog or in my Coffee talks.
Today’s I call the Ted talk because it felt like I was relaying something and well why not. Ted I’m sure won’t mind me using his name.
It’s after midnight and I’ve been beavering away for hours today filming things for the upcoming week.
I’m a little in a corner feeling that I want to do something new and different. I just can’t put my finger on it as to what.
Do you ever get those moments? I also am having a lot of self doubt right now and asking myself many questions about the value of the things I do. Are they worth doing? Am I bored? Am I tired?
I can’t quite say. I just know that my light is dimming and I actually feel very much alone. I did a Ted talk today which I was going to upload tonight. But I froze on the upload button. The overwhelming feeling that I’m just simmering away sometimes makes me want to turn up the heat and see what happens.
For now though I’ll just lay my head to sleep and dream of my next adventure.
Hump day! Middle of the week and we get excited as the weekend is coming.
I always find myself thrilled to see the weekend on the horizon. Though I do have to question why given life is 7 days a week not 2. Why look forward to only those days.
This week I’m good health wise. All things slowly going back into place which I’m glad about. A lesson I’ve learned is things can happen in a blink that can change your life and we should all be more appreciative of each day we have it.
That sounds maudlin but I don’t mean it that way. I just feel at times we tend to not really think and just assume each step will always be a given.
So my avatar today is in New York City pretending she is so cool she can stand in the middle of the road.
Clearly in reality she would be risking her mortality. However virtually a bus could hit her and she would jump up like super gal and carry on.