Lost my Shizzle

I’ve just lost my shizzle on my real person Facebook. Gave my two cents worth about how deep inside I’m truly feeling.

It’s after midnight and I should be asleep, but I can’t. I just want to cry and if I start, I know I won’t stop.

Despite how positive I can be a lot of the time, I’m also pretty human and also feel the same things others do.

I just “manage” my feelings differently.

Today I am raw.

I’m hurting so much in my heart and I don’t know that there is an end to it.

We may be virtual characters but we are also all people.

I’m scared, and my heart is breaking.

I used to pray. I actually do have strong beliefs and have forgotten how to. I’m not sure if anyone listens but it’s worth giving it a go.

I’ll be ok tomorrow. Some days I just need to let it out. Recover and then carry on.

Here is what I wrote.

Very spooky when I watched Contagion earlier. Totally replicates what’s going on now.

Our lives aren’t going back to normal any time soon, we are heading towards a new normal.

So the question is what next?

I’m not planning on accepting being locked away in my four walls without human contact with my children and friends for god knows how long, working! For what? What are we working towards? This isn’t here for a season, this is here for a long haul.

I had better plans for my life before I eventually die.

I never expected to be wishing for the day “it’s all over and normal again”.

Life feels completely changing and for all you out there not saving your money but flagrantly spending it.

The new tv, sneakers, state of the art phone etc is pretty wasted when all you currently have are your four walls. Potentially in a year not able to keep a roof over your heads etc.

Start saving and thinking about what happens next. Because it won’t be that dream you had 12 months ago.

Facts are the economy is going to suffer hugely and we are going to head toward the biggest recession globally our lifetimes have seen.

The waste of money you make today is your loss tomorrow.

As I said, I’m not being in these four walls indefinitely. I’m not accepting that as my future.

So bloody stay home and stop spreading this BS !

Credits:-

Kara Skirt and top dress from Furtacor at the Designer Showcase

Reflectice eyes  from Amara Beauty

Charlotte hair from Analog Dog

Gloss Lipstick from A R T E

Glam on eyeshadow from A R T E

Catya bento head from CATWA

Angel shape for the Catya head LizBitz

Lara mesh body Maitreya

Nora BOM skin from  Amara Beauty

Shot on location at Luanes World