It’s been on my mind all evening and I realise that there are some decisions I need to make about my future. I’m just not sure how to make them.
I’ve been a union rep for nearly 10 years now. Spending my heart and time helping people at work and trying to fight against bad practice. Sometimes it seems the fight is never ending and this does impact on me.
This week I’m on a course for the union doing Mental Health Awareness.
We have been discussing what we come across doing our roles and the fragility of some of the people we deal with.
For me this has opened up a huge can because once again I am faced with the reality that a person took their life and I could not stop it and that can never be undone.
No matter how much counselling you can give me, the reality is that the pain of that never goes and there is no guarantee that I’ll never have that happen again.
I can handle that pain but part of me wonders if it’s time to let myself care less and be more selfish.
Anyhow I’m going to sleep on that.
Credits:-
St Tropez dress from D E Boutique at the Designer Showcase
Gem eyes from Amara Beauty
Tropical eyeshadow from A R T E
Tropical lipstick from A R T E
Catya bento head from CATWA
Angel shape for the Catya head LizBitz
Lara mesh body Maitreya
Ashley Skin in peach from Avenge
Isabelle Cheren 
You’re never going to change your core personality, so you’ll always care about folks, my friend. Suicide is a choice, though, and its repercussions are never really thought about by the person who just wants the pain and distress to stop, regardless. There is definitely a trip downwards that can be really hard to get out of and back to the world. It’s a very difficult place to be in and short of keeping a 24 hour watch on potential suicides, it’s almost impossible to prevent if they are determined and even more difficult to throw a rope down to somebody in that area. I think some drugs help to balance and some forms of meditation are helpful, too. I suppose what I am saying is that the responsibility is not all yours to give, and it does require a Herculean effort from the person in that darkness, too. The strength is there, inside, it’s just a matter of reaching it. The journey there is singular.
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Thank you ❤️
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