Let me tell you…

Last night I spent some time in SL visiting different places.

This picture is on my sim so not one of the places I visited.

Talking to friends about relationships and such things as I travelled.

One common thread we all can agree on that we have experienced in this virtual way of life, is how hard we fall when we fall.

Online relationships are a beautiful thing in my opinion. The ability to get to really know someone before you may meet gives you something extra that maybe a meeting in a bar in RL wouldn’t.

Human beings are often very guarded creatures and we always hold something back, rightly or wrongly. But in a virtual world we often allow ourselves to really let go. Basically opening our core.

But… now here it comes.

When the relationship goes wrong, the impact that can have on you is immense.

You are like in a vacuum and that other person is the hose out. Or so you believe at the time.

I’ve experienced this, the total adoration of someone I don’t know, yet know. The hours of talking, the sharing of ideas both RL and virtually. Then the crash.

That crash feels more intense than anything you have ever experienced, the pain ten times more than that last RL relationship.

But why?

From my view I believe it’s because you mingle a reality and a fantasy together and it’s hard to destroy any fantasy. After all in life we hold on to our fantasies to see us through our difficult times.

But when our fantasy is devastated the impact it has on our real life person is often quite intense and devastating for some.

Remember that behind every avatar is a human being. A person with vulnerabilities, issues, feelings and RL.

Be kind and treat that person with the respect they deserve.

Leave your negative RL at the door and enjoy the fantasy.

But if you go to reality, do so with care and the knowledge that what you say and do can indeed impact that person.

Enjoy your day.


Lexi outfit from LaGeeny

Charlotte hair from Analog Dog

Catya bento head from CATWA

Angel shape for the Catya head LizBitz

Lara mesh body Maitreya

Christy dark skin Lara Hurley

Shot on location at Namaste Beach

3 thoughts on “Let me tell you…

  1. I think you’ve hit the nail on the head here, Isa. The creation and subsequent destruction of a fantasy which in some way or another supports you, is very hard to overcome. People can also cheat here a lot more convincingly than it’s possible to do so in real life. You know something is different in your SL relationship but it’s impossible to put your finger on it because your beloved can have created a whole different character with another SL life which is difficult to evidence unless they confess to it. That is, if they are sneaky and clever enough to live the two lives. Speaking from experience I can tell you that it’s doubly hurtful to do this to your partner and it took me two years to get over a five year relationship where my partner lived another life altogether for the final couple of years. It was easier I think for her to do this because of the time zone differences. When I was in bed asleep, she was playing out her second Second Life. Ever been had? Nowadays, my lovely partner is on the same time zone and in any case I know him in real life – so that adds to the security. It’s in my nature to be monogamous in any relationship but it’s so easy for people in SL to be anything but – that’s if they want to be like that. I don’t make judgements, just report my experiences.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Im sorry you even had to go through that. Good to know you are in a good relationship now.
      Yes I have been on the tail end of someone who did exactly that. Still continues to do exactly that. (not with me but another)
      Sadly I think people are so caught up in what they want, they forget about the other person and what they go through as a result of their actions.
      Humans can be quite a selfish lot at times.
      Sadly ego is involved as well and ego makes people do silly things.
      I have alts, but theyre no secret. Never have been.
      So if I were to ever partner, well he would have the choice of which one he fancied more
      Unless of course I log them all in for the biggest wedding the world has ever seen .LOL
      That day is unlikely as Im yet to meet a person who is honest and frankly single to do so.
      So instead I may marry one of my bots. I did once ages ago. lol

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Hmmm. it’s so true that people get caught up in a fantasy in second life and most often the reality of relationships is much too mundane. It’s why I think SL is not a healthy place in all aspects. I am sticking to the real life relationship at this time. That way there is nothing that ties me inexorably to the pixels. I can’t handle anything else or I’d never leave SL lol.

    Liked by 1 person

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