Letting it all out there

So I am today writing about me and what it is like to be me. You more mature ladies will understand and partners of mature ladies

As a 57-year-old menopausal woman, I often find myself still feeling like I’m 25 inside. I may have a few more wrinkles and grey hairs, but mentally, I still feel young and vibrant. (Mentally is the key here ) Unfortunately, my body hasn’t been able to keep up with my youthful mindset, as I’ve been dealing with hot flushes, lack of sex drive, fibromyalgia, and diabetes for the past few years.

The hot flushes started in my late 40s, but they became more noticeable in the last two years. It’s like a sudden wave of heat that starts at the top of my head and spreads throughout my body, leaving me sweating and feeling like I’m going to pass out or be sick. It’s not the most pleasant experience, but it’s something that I’ve learned to live with.

The lack of sex drive is another frustrating symptom of menopause. I used to be quite the goer when I was younger, but now I find myself feeling less interested in sex. It’s not that I don’t want to, but my body just doesn’t seem to respond in the same way it used to. It’s like my libido has gone on an extended holiday, leaving me feeling like I’m missing out on something. Let me tell you it isn’t a holiday any sane woman would pay for !

Adding to these symptoms is the fact that I also have fibromyalgia and diabetes. Fibromyalgia is a chronic pain condition that leaves me feeling achy and fatigued most days. Diabetes is a condition that affects how my body processes sugar, which means I have to be careful with what I eat and make sure I monitor my blood sugar levels regularly. Yet if I am honest it is something I have taken for granted and not found easy to change my bad habits on. My friends will tell you this as they know me well! I love carbohydrates too much and chocolate is my danger.

In 2022, depression sunk in, and I found myself struggling to feel like myself. I was irritable yet always crying for no reason, had trouble sleeping, and felt like I was in a constant state of despair. Thankfully, starting hormone replacement therapy (HRT) was a  bit of a lifesaver for me. It wasn’t a miracle and after taking it for a few months I started to feel like my pre-depression self, though to be honest I am still always on the edge. The hot flushes subsided, and my mood stabilised so for that I am actually pretty grateful. Yet lately I have noticed the flushes starting to slowly return and that in itself is bugging me.

When the lockdowns started due to the COVID-19 pandemic, I found myself being less sociable and staying at home more. Even though I know being active is better for me, I tend to avoid it, and my activity levels have decreased. I do try to remind myself to stay active, but it’s easier said than done. I am now  3 years into this trying to come out of the lockdown feeling. I do feel that I basically went with it and just find it more comfortable to avoid situations being this way. Do I want to remain like this? No, not at all. But I’m certainly comfortable in it.

One thing that has helped me keep my sanity over the years is writing and keeping a blog. It’s been a great way for me to express myself and detach myself from some dark thoughts. I also love making my videos and being characters which is a great way to escape some of the more serious things that could tip me over the edge. Believe me I have teetered on the edge a number of times since 2014.

Despite all of this, I still try to maintain a sense of humour about everything. One funny thought that comes to mind is the fear that the rest of my life will be so dry down there that it’ll become a new desert! It’s not the most pleasant thought, but it’s something that I can’t help but laugh about. When I say down there you more mature  ladies will know exactly what I mean!

So if you ask me why I love Second Life. I can quite categorically tell you, its simple, there is no demands placed upon me and I am able to disappear from many things that haunt me. I would say I am not alone on this.

Have a jolly good day I am on my way to bed. My day ended on a low and I need go and have a cry as tomorrow is a new one.


Pink ladies dress from IM Collection

HDPRO Majer soft head from CATWA

Cupcake hair from Truth

Odette earrings and ring from Kunglers

Manon skin from the Skinnery in toffee

Classic mesh body from Legacy

Image courtesy using Flickr

Watermelon Sugar pose from Secret Poses

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