It’s been 4 weeks since I’ve been off from work, at home. I’ve been slowly going insane one moment or seemingly normal the next. I feel guilty for imploding and guilty for letting people down by not being present in the things I do. Why, because I’ve felt sad and overcome with way too much emotion and stuff.

I’m not sure what feels worse right now, feeling low and trying to push through the tunnel to get back to the normal me, or the feeling bad about letting people down at work and in my personal life.

It’s funny how your mind can do this. Well my mind anyhow. My video making has suffered, my blog, my work, friendships etc. I feel guilty if I find something to enjoy, like I shouldn’t enjoy anything. That I’m supposed to just not. It’s such a weird feeling.

Doing the video with Wagner James and live stream with Drax for the book club, takes me away for an hour or so and I escape. I suddenly feel productive and me. But then after, I’m the zombie in front of Netflix.

I’ve agreed to go to a work Xmas meal next week. I’m looking forward to that. My friends are taking me to a Xmas faire Saturday morning, I’m looking forward to that.

Right now I’m in bed laying here and just unable to fall asleep. So thought I’d tap my blog. The place I come to write and if no one reads it’s no big deal, it’s like my journal of expression.

In the meanwhile outfit details are below as is the destination of snow to go visit. Visit and escape whatever troubles in your reality.


Velvet rush set from IM Collection

Twisted hair from Truth

Bling bling eyes and lips makeup from IDTTY

HDPRO Majer soft head from CATWA

Clair Necklace from [ kunst ]

Eline skin in beige  AMARA

Classic mesh body from Legacy

Image courtesy using Flickr

Shot on location at Lee Loo’s Land The Northern Trek

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