Mental health

Mental health

As I write this blog I am watching and listening to the Avicii tribute concert.  (You see I can do it when its my choice) Dancing in my head. My heart is warm with memories of his tracks and how they feature in my own memories of his time and how his songs brought meaning to different parts of my past few years since I started following him.

You know what its like, a song has a meaning.

I have been an Avicii fan for as long as I knew of him. He inspired me for a long period to think I could do what he did and look outside of the box because of a love of music.  I followed that passion for a number of years mixing in my living room and playing with music.

I even released and have quite a few tracks published and mini albums.

Nothing outstanding, but stuff I did enjoy and I like to listen to even though its me.

It was my hobby and in that moment I felt just like him. He so inspired me . Just like he has inspired so many people out there and given memories to moments in time with the music.

You see not many people come along and just project instantly like he did. Release amazing track after amazing track.

Its so sad that despite being this incredibly talented creative person with a life ahead, that he took his life.

Mental health is very often a hidden thing that you cant see or hear until its too late.

The continuous work behind supporting and helping people with mental health issues is ongoing around us but still not enough people give it time and thought.

We all have had people who we have lost because of their mental health. The past few years I have experienced this both with my father, a woman I helped and my daughters friends mum.

It affects all of us and priority to be aware is increasing as more and more people are struggling in this world.

I wanted to write  while I virtually attend this concert because its the time to do it.

I hope you are watching it and if you are not…here is the link as it has been live streaming the past 4 hours.

The Tim Bergling foundation was created byKlas and Anki Bergling the parents and family of Avicii (Tim) in hounour of his death.

The idea behind the foundation is about the importance of recognizing and treating the early signs of deteriorating mental health, anxiety, and depression for performing artists and those working in the music industry.

But it isn’t just about artists. Average every day people experience this, but it does highlight that sometimes we view people as being happy and healthy in their mental health when they are not.  The perception “they have it all” is often not true.

Behind the riches and fame, beats loneliness, frustration, depression all rolled into one.

We need to open our eyes. Around us, in life and virtual life.


What happens in 2015 should be remembered

What happens in 2015 should be remembered

Despite the outward faces of many.

Faces of resilience, strength bravado, the truth is that many of us suffer silently in our dark moments and only the few around us will know those moments.

I am currently within my dark time and struggling to surpass this.

There are many reasons for the darkness. The most real one is work. The struggle to walk in each day and smile at the people who make many of our lives difficult.

I guess mine is compounded by the fact that I know it’s not all in my head because of the role I do as a union representative.

I face those managers who behave like non humans to their employees and I first hand see the manipulations of situations and the effects these have on staff.

You see from my perspective as both a participant and a spectator, going to work in an environment of toxicity is certainly one of the most damaging and dangerous positions many people face each day. The destruction of a person within a toxic work environment is very real.

When an employee cannot trust the person that is there to over see them (the manager) it is almost akin to an abusive domestic relationship. Violence removed.

I go back to 2015 when an employee commited suicide because of work.

The reason for my darkness is that in 2015 on the 20th January a person who I was helping in the work place took her life because of how she felt treated.

My darkness comes and goes over that and on the whole I deal with it with more resilience. But this week it’s sat on my shoulders as the background to many other things going on at work.

I find myself still asking why the manager who acted as the catalyst to the situation received promotion . I ask myself does this manager sleep well at night.

I see her often in passing. She scurries past me because she knows the blame I place at her feet. The family and me. She looks well rested. She has since the day it happened.

Moral of the story. You are much safer at home.

If you or someone you know is suffering speak to someone. Don’t go silently.

There are supports available.




Cowgrl aqua gown from Saschas Designs

Camilla hair from enVOGUE

Shimmer eyeshadow from A R T E in the December Powderpack

Natural lip balm from A R T E at the Chapter Four

You don’t know pose from Luanes World at Tres Chic

Catya bento head from CATWA

Angel shape for the Catya head LizBitz

Lara mesh body Maitreya

Christy dark skin Lara Hurley

Shot on location at Luanes World