It’s been one mad week in my world. The real one that is.
I was hit with feeling unwell for days and also emotionally upset and physically sick as a result.
I’m not ready to talk about that just yet but I’m managing that side of things and with my HRT kicking in I believe that things will seem less gut wrenching over time.
It sounds dramatic I know, but to me personally going through emotions I couldn’t control it was.
Just as things are feeling ok I then find out my niece in Australia has run away from home. leaving her parents, my brother and his wife sick with worry.
Naturally repercussions have been felt here from family with worry and angst as to is she safe etc etc. So my week and weekend is filled with emotion right now. How I managed to stream the book club and sound chirpy in my chat with James Wagner I will never know.
Long story short, my niece has been located and is refusing to go home. No reason given to her parents so they have been emotionally confused. She just needs “space”.
Brings me back to my childhood. I ran away from home quite regularly. Back then though I had good reason to. That’s another story. However my experience has helped me to give my brother advice on how to manage this loss and how they react to their daughter.
It’s also in many ways resonated strongly with me how truly gutted my parents must have felt when I ran at the age of 18 and never saw them again for 20 years. You see I moved then to the U.K. I saw my mother before she died. I never saw my father.
In fact the fear and hurt I’ve felt in tandem with my brother and sister in law has driven home to me what I did to my parents. I’ll never be able to rectify or fix that ever as they’re both no longer here.
Back to my niece, she is 16, so the police don’t treat her as a runaway if she has a safe place to live and funds. Which currently she has. If she didn’t have a safe place they could have taken her home.
So her parents have to accept the situation as it is for now. Our kids grow up, they do crazy things that make sense, only to them and as parent you just have to roll with it.
My brother hasn’t eaten all week. He has not taken this well and has really struggled. But today I had a video chat with them and they have developed the next emotion from loss which is anger. The realisation that they have sat at home staring at the walls on tenterhooks and why should they.
So today they start accepting her decision, reminding her they are there, she has a home anytime she wants it and reaffirming each day they love her and respect her choice.
They know where she is and she is safe. That’s all that counts. It may be a short chapter or it may be a permanent one. But either way they have accepted that their little girl is no longer little.
I have accepted that you can’t undo the hurt you cause, but you can eventually accept and move on.
So Beverley the crazy ASMR character is giving calm. Outfit is detailed below.
Set number 1 lingerie from eXxEsS
Suffer well hair from Magika
Genus baby bento head from GENUS
Lara mesh body Maitreya
Ava skin in fair from Amara Beauty