Have you ever looked in the mirror and analysed yourself and wondered what you would be like if you were not born into the body you currently reside in or were born into a different time/circumstance?
I have, many a time. In fact I often do, consider if I was in another form, would I be any different as a person than I am now?
I believe that our core person is who we are, our goodness and sense of humanity. But our circumstances shape our outlook and influence our view for whatever reasons. But none the less, our core is who we are and should be.
Do I believe I have a right to blame circumstance upon my actions? No.
I grew up with violence, rape, racism and feeling like an island in the sea. I’m still that island in the sea, because that is who I am. Responsible for myself. I learn to enclose and remember who I am. I disassociate from blame and look to find truth instead.
Do I use those experiences to define the person I could have been, blame all the bad things in life on, excuse myself for being a responsible decent person?
It’s never ok to blame when in essence you are as you grow able to take charge of your person and shape your person to be better than your circumstance.
Those that don’t, allow their paths to narrow and lose their way.
All decisions in life are a choice. Only you can make them, you have to make them, against the tide.
That is how I view life. That is how I am a responsible human.
I was 5 months pregnant when I was at the 1992 Guns n Roses “Use your illusion tour” at Wembley Stadium. Right down there in the pit pregnant and dancing.
Welcome to the Jungle came on and I was like this wild woman in a sea of black t shirts wearing my ultra-colourful bright shirt and tight black jeans and sneakers. My hair was cascading down my back and I was having the time of my life. My hair was at the time a dark mahogany.
Then I nearly passed out.
I was saved by a tall pale goth with his long dyed black hair and numerous piercings as he basically nearly carried me to the infirmary part which was central in the ground area.
There he stayed with me while I recovered and we sat and watched the show, him squeezing my hand in reassurance and a genuine caring.
I never knew his name and the only thing I did know was he came all the way from Birmingham on his own to see the concert.
Wonder what happened to him. Did he grow into an older goth or did he swap his long locks for baldness and middle age?
Truth be told I have been following Sienna Foxdale on Facebook and her awesome rez builds she is doing and when I visited this one. I fell completely madly in love. Decided then and there to message her and impart some muller for the privilege of beautiful décor.
To be fair I have night on 192,000 (yep dont faint!) items in my inventory and despite having it all, nothing I can do in terms of décor ever can look this good. Im pretty useless at doing decorating as in reality Im very much minimal with plants or rather trees as my features. So my skill set is in that direction.
Howevee in pixel planet I do tend to admire the beauty of decoration and the best bit….no cleaning!!!!
If you want to check this place out. It was rezzed here but I cannot promise that Sienna hasn’t replaced it as yet. But please go check it out. It cost $5k in lindens and has if I recall around 820 ish prims in total.
Its my sky home now for Harriet and also a place to take beautiful inside photos for myself and friends.
Taking a 40 minute lunch break away from my desk and just sipping some tea.
I do feel I need to pop out my front door and just wave at society and say, Hey there.
Only thing is people are not as friendly as me and often a random smile and hey there is met by a look of suspicion or that you are bat crazy.
I still do it none the less when I am out and about but lately the feeling has changed and I’m finding people are more anxious and in fact less receptive to a cheery hello.
One message I’d like to impart for this Monday. If you see what appears to be a crazy lady wave hello with a big smile on her face. Don’t turn away as though she was nuts.
Stop a moment and wave back and acknowledge that moment.
The world needs more moments like these. One smile and a wave, is like a domino effect in someone’s life. It cheers them up and spurs them to feel the same. Then soon you have people united in feeling good and in this together.
Last night I was spending time with my flat mate for her 30th birthday.
She went into her 30th with a pandemic and a divided world. She at the age of 30 is asking me what is the point of living anymore.
I sit here and try and give my positive so much good etc etc etc.
Truth is, where the hell has it gone? Where are the things we are meant to look forward to?
I wrote a post on my rl and sl Facebook walls this morning. I don’t come to my Facebook to see such hatred and bullying . Name shaming etc etc. It’s divisive and is never going to solve the problems. In fact it’s fuel.
There will never be another Nelson Mandela or Martin Luther King again. Go back and read and educate yourselves because if you never learnt anything then, you won’t now.
I’m tired. People are tiring me. History doesn’t appear to have educated anybody at all. Not one bit. As I sit here from a mixed race background having lived in apartheid for part of my life. I sit here and frankly feel humans are the dumbest species on this planet.
The dumbest! It seems you can’t change stupid no matter what. Read and learn.
Remember in this life, United we stand, Divided we fall.
But for now I’m going to sit back and enjoy my view and pretend like my avatar, that stupid doesn’t exist.