Last nights Coffee with Isa took quite out of me. Because it was me baring a layer of myself that is not something I share. Certainly not with the world. Was it brave, stupid or downright madness? Ill let you know one day, but right now I feel it was cathartic for me and a few people I know who have been in the same situations.
Did I set out to bare so much? No.
In actual fact it was a general Coffee and I wanted to talk about some rubbish moments in SL that I wanted to share. I didn’t know I was going to keep talking and just lay it out.
Despite me being a open book etc. There is that part of me that has some traits where I pop things on a shelf and just leave them there.
Then something happens and it’s like a train that goes backwards and whizzes past every step of the long road and goes right back to start.
I think that’s a really common reaction from many people like me who grew up in a domestic abuse situation. Who then go on to come across people who invoke that feeling again.
Everyone has their demons they carry in one way or another. The trigger point then appears and can tip a person either in a positive way or a negative way.
For me last night in terms of my own personal self it’s in a positive way.
I made it clear about who I am as a human and some of the values I set in my life for myself and those around me.
Do I blame that person for my reaction? No. But I do believe that no matter where you want to be what you want etc. You owe people respect and dignity. Be gutter earth if it is necessary. But only take sewerage to that place, don’t take kindness and warmth and try to strip it away into something else. And certainly, don’t justify it by turning it into someone else’s fault.
Own your shit.
I know the trolls will have a field day with the information. After all it feeds theirs and narcissist base desires to be in a feeling of control and charge. To feel like they have something tangible to confirm their actions. Let them I say. For their lives lack substance and love and all those things that make humans a great species.
They will never experience the wonders of real friendships and loyalty and all those things that come from mutual respect.
Do I have ill feeling? No.
You see there is no point to ill feeling and reaction. . It produces no positive outcome and only serves to grow resentment.
I try never to dwell on negatives as ultimately being unhappy is never my life goal. Seriously why would anyone aspire to negatives. Life is way to short to dwell.
We need to face forward and take each life challenge as a learning moment.
So I have started baring my soul. I figure actually I don’t care what it makes people think of me. It makes me inner happy to know I am able to start unpacking a few things and not pretending that life is a box of roses. Because it isn’t unless you live in Disney films.
Again I am ok.
Chloe outfit from Gaia at the EQUAL10 Event
Sweet gloss from A R T E
Glam on eyeshadow from A R T E
Kit hair from Analog Dog
Catya bento head from CATWA
Edie skin in 04 from Amara
Picture taken at home.