Too Tired for Second Life… and That’s Saying Something

Too Tired for Second Life… and That’s Saying Something

This weekend I discovered a new level of exhaustion, the kind where even logging into Second Life feels like the impossible. I stared at my SL icon like, “Not today, demon.” Meanwhile real life was behind me waving a to do list. The hoover was judging me from across the room. The washing and ironing [...]

The Glamorous Life of My Virtual Self

The Glamorous Life of My Virtual Self

Real me: Stares at wardrobe, picks the same camo trousers, and black Tshirt I had on yesterday. Virtual me: Slips into a body hugging gown that would require three assistants, industrial strength shapewear, and a small prayer in real life. Facts!! But in the virtual world? Easy. Effortless. Zero chafing. Even my hair is fabulous. [...]

Feed me Seymour

Feed me Seymour

Something strange is happening to me. I’ve become ravenous. Not just “I could eat a little snack” hungry. We’re talking prehistoric cavewoman who’s just discovered Uber Eats levels of hunger. I wake up thinking about breakfast, then mid-breakfast I’m already planning lunch. By mid-morning, I’ve had what I call a “snackcident” . I swear I’m [...]

Back at it

Back at it

I went back to work today and realised I’m just a number. Hence my avatars face. I had my stitches out yesterday and I have not fully healed. So I have to keep dressing it and keep clean. Also no wild walking etc for weeks to come. Not an issue, me walking distances? Nah. After [...]

It arrives soon

It arrives soon

Halloween arrives soon Like that cousin you didn’t invite to the family party. Pumpkins are grinning, candles are lit, And my costume still looks like utter sh— nonsense (I don’t wear one I’m scary as it is) The shops sell cobwebs for £5 a strand, I can just leave my house unplanned! Kids want sweets, [...]

Sun’s Out, Scars Out

Sun’s Out, Scars Out

The sun’s shining, the sky’s pretending it’s still summer, and here I am, proudly swanning about in my shorts like I’ve just been sponsored by Savlon. Why? Because my legs are still decently presentable until my next melanoma operation on the 23rd of October on my shin. I’m having another WLE. Just as the first [...]

Emotional support swing

Emotional support swing

I sat on a virtual swing last night. Just me, the sunset, and a mild sense of “what the actual hell is going on with life.” It was quiet. Too quiet, actually. I half expected my cat to start judging me for sitting there like a moody poet. The swing creaked with every push, probably [...]

Dislocate

Dislocate

 I’m seeing a doctor today about my shoulder issues, which have quietly (and not so quietly) become worse over time. My shoulder has dislocated twice recently during a flare , just for a few seconds each time, but that’s enough to leave a deep ache and a quiet fear in the back of my mind. [...]

No night out

No night out

It was meant to be one of those calm, ordinary Saturdays. The kind where you potter about the house, do a bit of cleaning, and feel vaguely accomplished for it. I decided to tidy the living room and give the TV stand a proper clean. Nothing major, just one of those satisfying little jobs that [...]

OnlyFans: The Gym Membership for Your Right Hand

OnlyFans: The Gym Membership for Your Right Hand

Subscribing to OnlyFans doesn’t make you a bad person. It just makes you a very specific kind of person. A financial wanker. A romantic wanker. A digital-age, algorithmically ignored wanker. But hey someone’s making money. And it’s not you. It’s Becky. In a Pikachu onesie. Eating a banana. For £9.99. Happiness one hand at a [...]