Crazy cat lady

I’ve decided that quite possibly I’m on the road to becoming THAT crazy cat lady.

There are days I would be happy to see absolutely nobody but my two real life cats.

I think that’s because at times I just feel uncomfortable with people when I’m not feeling comfortable with myself. Somehow those four legged furry critters don’t give any damn whatsoever and love me as long as I keep feeding them.

Not the same can be said of human beings as its primary nature there has to be reasons for everything.

I turned 50 a few days ago and for a week before that, slipped into a total meltdown of emotions which I couldn’t seem to step out of despite the inner me saying don’t be silly.

When you reach that point in your life that you havent given thought before,  and you realise that you had no great plan. Well that’s pretty unsettling. When you suddenly realise your true mortality.

I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up! I always wanted to act but when I was younger, was shy. So how could I. Now as I’m older, I still want to, but I haven’t the time to suddenly start. I love making music and just being creative. 

I wanted to travel America, visit Vietnam, Thailand and Japan. I still haven’t.

I wanted to sit at a cafe in New York City alone and pretend I was a grown up.

I wanted to visit Paris and fall in love. 

So many things that I wanted to do, I realise now that I never will. Well maybe one?

I guess in some ways that’s what SL is about, the fantasy and taking you into adventures you dream about.

But I want them to come alive. 

  Otherwise, in the not too distant future, I will be THAT crazy cat lady.


Let me introduce….

My Mirror image!

Well ok, maybe not really but inside the real person is the real avatar and vice versa.

I am the same person in both worlds, the only real distinction is the avatar physically has maintained gravity and will forever look 25.

The real person continues to age and experience the limitations that aging imposes on all human beings ultimately.

There was a time I considered aging my avatar and inflicting gravitational pull on her boobicles and skin that doesn’t spring back when pulled. But, I decided if only in my virtual reality why not dream a little longer.

She shops and can wear simply anything and look a million dollars. Her hair never requires root touch ups, she can eat whatever she fancies and she NEVER has to go to the gym!

The real me however, has regular root touch ups, it would take a million dollars to dress me, I can only eat a lettuce leaf if I want that body and the gym? I should go, but …… 

 Dream I shall.

Shopping to make you smile

One thing I have noticed is my ever increasing need to shop!!

Due to real life constraints hanging out in our virtual planet has been slightly difficult this weekend.

For ages it seems I try to get the shopping events and they’re always full and so I never go. Well I logged in today, my real life front doorbell went and I left my avatar and totally forgot about her till I came to turn off the pc and found her sitting on a bench looking rather sorry for herself.

Just to make the presence in world worth her wait, I took her shopping to Epiphany and Kustom9 where I acquired this gorgeous dress and boots, hair and necklace.

I very nearly bought a new sofa. But hey, there is always tomorrow.

I’m happy and its time to go to my bed.

See how simple it is to make me smileSnapshot_100!!!



Sometimes if only

Sometimes  when we dream, we disappear to a world far far away. Moments are like stars that fly by before we can catch them and keep them.

Our fantasies continue in our minds and then we dream…….

Watch her come to life


Chantal Harvey, thank you for inspiring me to bring Isabellah to life. She sits in my mind and she exists with her/my music.



Looking inside on reality

I’m on the bus as I write this. Actually, for most of my posts I’m on the bus.

It’s that one time of day I get some peace that is interrupted, until of course it’s time to get off.

Lately I’ve neglected so many things I love to do, because of the time factor and slowly I’m burning out I think.

I met someone who I speak to every single night in skype. Hours on end. Honestly about all sorts of subjects that I often wonder, wow, where do we find this stuff to talk about.

It’s however having an impact on me emotionally, physically and generally mentally.

When you spend a lot of time with someone in a virtual scenario, you tend to  develop a lot faster than if you were in a traditional date situation.

I’m guessing it’s because in that virtual cocoon you spend the time talking, exchanging thoughts, opinions, likes, dislikes and so on. But in the more traditional sense, your time is spent in a more physical proximity and all that talking etc is more limited because you are more on guard and exploring the more physical prescence of a person. The getting to know that person then tends to take much longer.
Im not sure where it goes from here to be honest. But I want to find out.

Reality, then rears its ugly head and I wake up.

A bit of reality….

As many of my secondlife friends will know, I became a grandmother in July.

It’s still very surreal to me to imagine that my life has moved on so much and I’m where my mum was 26 years ago. 

I’m now who my mum was, but only living in a different era and country.

She passed away in 2012 and not a day goes past that I don’t recollect my thoughts and wonder if she is proud of me, smiling, laughing, mad, and the list goes on.

So, anyhow I became a grandmother to the most exquisite future man who just makes me smile right now as I write this.

As many of my pixel friends and real life friends know, at his 6 week check up they discovered his heart wasn’t beating as it should and was immediately referred to hospital for an ECG and scan. From that was he whirlwind referral to the Royal Brompton in London where they discovered a large hole in his heart, a number of smaller holes and a coarctation of the aorta.

Little Mason was admitted immediately and within 10 days, underwent open heart surgery at on just over 2 months of age.

It’s amazing when I look back how brave, strong and wonderful he is. But even more so my daughter who sat by his side each day.

I am thankful every single day that they discovered this when they did. Unbeknown to us, Mason was slowly losing his life up until that point.

I just wanted to share how thankful I am. Mason will have further surgery later this year, but he is doing fantastically well.

Isn’t science amazing!!

I’ve included the video I made at the time as it was carthactic doing it. No great graphics but it was for him. One day he can watch it and understand more how special he is. 

When things just don’t work

Last night I spent some time on a teleport mission looking for places I haven’t been before that I could use in a video I’m planning.

Fact is there are so many places I can’t quite seem to make my mind up. 

One of the first things I love to find is colour and the windlight all set up with the atmosphere in mind.

 Frankly I’m the worst person to get the right windlight in a photo or video. Why? Because I spend so much time faffing that in the end I then get left with a choice and then can’t decide.

That was the case last night. No photo I’m happy with and no video sample.

Back to the drawing board…..